Prepare for the Apocalypse: Trump Nails Kasich and Dunham

The Federalist copyApril 26, 2016–I’ll start off on a somber note, friends: The apocalypse may be closer than we think. How do I know? Well, thousands of years ago, back through the swirling dusts and mists of time, the most ancient of scrolls foretold it: “When The Burnt Sienna Man in The Great Golden Tower is Right Twice In Two Days, Thou Shalt Look to the Heavens, Mortals, Past the Dog Star, For Thence the Meteor Comes, Swift and Merciless. Sad!”

In other words, this week, Donald J. Trump was completely on-target and salient regarding two entirely different topics. In a row.

The latest instance came in a delightful Tuesday phone interview with “Fox and Friends,” in which concerned morning hosts informed The Donald that various “celebrities” had threatened to leave the country if he gets elected. For instance, HBO star, “feminist icon,” and basic insane person Lena Dunham has declared she will decamp for Vancouver if Trump takes the White House; noted grump and frequent Trump target Rosie O’Donnell also joined the list.

“That would be a great thing for our country,” Trump said, enthusiastic, and he was absolutely right. “Now I have to get elected…Now it’s much more important. In fact, I’ll immediately get off this call and start campaigning right now.” I can’t lie: This was kind of awesome, so please savor this, as it may be the only time in this entire campaign when I say something like this about Donald Trump.

Read the rest here…


Previously


When Life Imitates the Internet

April 7, 2016–On Tuesday, Florida Gov. Rick Scott got a jolt at a Gainesville Starbucks, but it wasn’t from sugar, excessive caffeine, or a new over-the-counter social justice campaign. No, those things would be too boring: Instead of coffee, Scott got a high-decibel, no-mercy public scolding from one of his constituents. “You strip women from […]


Rise of the Sex-Crazed Twitter Nazi Bots

March 30, 2016–If anyone had high hopes for 2016—and if you did, I’m dreadfully sorry—the good folks at Microsoft Research may have had the highest. As 2015 drew to a close, various company representatives heralded a “new Golden Age of technological advancement.” 2016, we were told, would bring us closer to a benevolent artificial intelligence—an […]


The Campus Affluenza Epidemic

March 24, 2016–In 2013, Ethan Couch, a well-off Texas teenager, killed four people while driving drunk—with a potent mixed cocktail of marijuana and Valium in his bloodstream—while on a restricted license. In a defense that will likely go down in history, long after our republic has shuttered its faux-gilded doors, Ethan’s attorneys argued that the […]

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Heather Wilhelm is a Texas-based writer with experience in marketing, public relations, corporate communications, online news, web development, magazine editing, and print journalism. Her written commentary has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, RealClearPolitics.com, the Washington Examiner, and the National Review Online.
To inquire about freelance work, other projects, or to join my distribution list, contact me at heather@heatherwilhelm.com.