September 24, 2015–Last week, Donald J. Trump, a man who increasingly resembles a wayward, red-hatted hot air balloon, released what might be the Trumpiest statement ever uttered in the history of mankind. Strolling with Trump on his eponymous California golf course perched along the edge of the Pacific, David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network, perhaps a self-flagellating sort, asked the following: “Who is God to you?”
Gird your loins, readers. “Well, I say God is the ultimate,” Trump answered, which was OK as long as it lasted. “You know, you look at this. Here we are on the Pacific Ocean.” Here, he gestured over the greens of the Trump National Golf Club, which are so terrific they will make your head spin, and which I will probably never be allowed to play after writing this column. “How did I ever own this? I bought it 15 years ago.”
Here, presumably, God felt a little miffed, as we were supposed to be talking about Him. I’ll also pause to remind you I am not making this up.